Should a Work Romance Be Allowed at the Office?

Relationships at work spark red flags for any HR manager. In fact, many consider dating a coworker a “bad idea” due to the significant professional, legal, and interpersonal risks involved.

But should a company have a policy prohibiting office romances altogether?

According to a SHRM workplace romance survey, more than half of U.S. workers have been in a relationship or currently are with their life partner that started as a romantic relationship at work. Why are they so common? Because workplace romances often begin as friendships that, through working closely together, build familiarity and trust that naturally evolve into something more.

Considering these relationships are already happening, some organizations choose not to ban them outright. Instead, they focus on understanding the risks and having clear policies and procedures in place to manage workplace romances before problems arise. However, the prevalence of office romances does not eliminate the very real dangers they pose to productivity, fairness, workplace culture, and legal compliance.

Dangers of an Office Romance

Although office romances may make work more exciting for the people involved, they can create a wide range of workplace issues for everyone else. These risks often extend far beyond the couple and can affect entire teams, departments, and even the organization’s reputation.

Lack of professional conduct

When coworkers start dating, HR nightmares ignite: gossip, envy, distractions, questionable confidentiality, and compromised integrity in decision-making. Colleagues may scrutinize interactions for signs of favoritism or inappropriate behavior, and even innocent actions can be misinterpreted. Rumors can spread quickly, amplifying tension and undermining trust.

Office romances also blur professional boundaries. Inside jokes from personal life or a private conversation, or visible emotional dynamics can make coworkers uncomfortable and create a sense of exclusion. Over time, this can erode professionalism and damage team morale.

Power dynamics from a leadership position

When a superior and a subordinate are involved, the risks increase dramatically. Power imbalances raise concerns about favoritism, nepotism, real or perceived coercion, and unequal access to opportunities. When one employee has authority or influence over another’s performance reviews, compensation, scheduling, or career advancement, true consent becomes difficult to evaluate and even harder to defend.

Multiple colleagues may reasonably believe that promotions, raises, or desirable assignments are influenced by romantic involvement rather than job performance. The perception of favoritism alone can damage morale and erode trust in leadership.

Sexual harassment

Sexual harassment is another critical concern, particularly when a power imbalance exists. An employee may feel pressured to enter or remain in a relationship out of fear of retaliation, missed opportunities, or job loss. If the relationship ends, previously consensual behavior may later be viewed as unwelcome, creating legal exposure for the company.

Hostile work environment

Workplace romances can also contribute to a hostile work environment. Public displays of affection, emotional disagreements, or visible tension can make coworkers uncomfortable and distract from their work. This applies not only to in-person offices but also to remote and hybrid environments, where private messages, video calls, or after-hours communications can blur professional boundaries.

Workplace equity

Beyond individual relationships, office romances can undermine broader workplace equity. Romantic alliances may form informal influence networks, exclude others from information or opportunities, and reinforce existing inequalities. Single employees or those outside the relationship may feel sidelined or disadvantaged.

Company culture

Office romances can also damage company culture. Professional norms weaken when personal relationships dominate workplace interactions. Gossip increases, trust declines, and leadership credibility may suffer, especially if leaders are involved in or appear to tolerate inappropriate relationships.

Breakups create conflicts

Breakups present some of the most serious challenges of office romances. When a relationship ends poorly, emotional fallout often follows. Tension, resentment, or hostility can spill into the workplace, forcing coworkers to navigate awkward dynamics or feel pressured to take sides. Productivity may drop as energy shifts from work to managing personal conflict.

When relationships end, companies may also lose valuable talent. One or both employees may resign to escape an uncomfortable situation, taking institutional knowledge and skills with them. In some cases, entire teams are affected, leading to broader turnover and disengagement.

Overall, workplace romances that turn into love connections take a measurable toll on productivity, engagement, and organizational trust. Lawsuits, employee turnover, reputational harm, and leadership distraction are all potential consequences of unmanaged workplace relationships.

You want employees to get along, but when they get along so well that it's turned into a work romance, it's time to make sure your policies are working, too.

How to Prevent Loss of Productivity Due to an Office Romance

Although office romances can create awkward and risky HR situations, strong policies and consistent enforcement can reduce harm to your organization. To minimize any risk, your HR team will need to play a critical role in setting expectations, educating employees, and addressing issues early.

Create a workplace relationships policy

Establish clear expectations for appropriate workplace behavior to avoid offending others or placing coworkers, clients, or your organization’s reputation in an uncomfortable position. A workplace relationships policy should address dating co-workers, conflicts of interest, disclosure requirements of relationship status, and prohibited relationships (such as manager-subordinate romances).

Include the policy in your employee handbook, require acknowledgment upon hire, and review it during annual anti-harassment training. Employees should be encouraged to carefully consider the personal and professional consequences before dating coworkers.

Conduct annual workplace anti-harassment training

Some states require you to conduct anti-harassment training at least biannually. Review workplace relationship policies, define unacceptable behavior, and explain how to report concerns. Emphasize respect, professional behavior, and boundaries in all workplace interactions. Be sure to make attendance mandatory and to document attendance.

Require acknowledgment of consensual relationships

When two employees enter a mutually consensual relationship, require disclosure to HR through a signed acknowledgment or “consensual relationship agreement.” This helps clarify expectations, confirm consent, and protect the organization if issues arise later.

Remind managers that quid pro quo behavior is never acceptable

“Quid pro quo” means “this for that.” Gifts, promotions, raises, schedules, or favorable treatment must never be tied, explicitly or implicitly, to romantic or sexual involvement. Violations can result in serious legal and disciplinary consequences.

Closely document personnel decisions involving managers in relationships

When reassignment is not possible, managers involved in workplace relationships should maintain detailed documentation for all personnel decisions, including performance evaluations, promotions, compensation changes, and disciplinary actions. Transparency and consistency are essential to protecting both the manager and the organization.

Need Help with a Sticky HR Situation?

Office romances have the potential to create awkward HR situations, but they are manageable. For help with customizing your company policies or guidance with your specific scenario, please contact your certified HR expert.

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